Yes, seriously, the English name for this duck is smew. Smew. I'm not quite at the point of I can't even, but I'm definitely at I barely even. The name is first recorded in the 1670s, etymology unknown but conjectured to be related to earlier dialect smee, any type of wild duck, apparently cognate of Dutch smient, widgeon, and German dialect Schmeiente/Schmünte, also widgeon, or also sometimes any wild duck. For reference, here's pix of male (above) and female (below) smews:
Yes, really, those are smews.
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